Calm me with your lies, your simple tradgedy.

Never underestimate people. Sometimes they hide themselves, well. I was talking with some friends a week or so ago. It was a pretty deep conversation. Something about depression. And I admitted to not being the happiest of people. This didn’t come as a surprise to most of them. But one of my socially awkward peers pulls me aside. He says “Jeannie that can’t be true, if you considered anything like that, you’d tell everybody you can before anything.” Really? Do you really think I'm that airheaded? Well I'm not. Ive been getting a lot of comments about that lately. “Jeannie, what’s so wrong with your life.” I don’t share with people often, or easily. Only one person in this world truly knows what’s going on in this pretty little head of mine. Hahaha. Just because I don’t go blurting out my problems doesn’t mean I don’t have them. And the airheadness, sweetness, or whatever type of person you take me for: have you ever considered the fact that I'm just really good at acting? Or pretending I'm something I'm not? And if you are close to me, and I don’t expect you to Dr. Phil me to the death, you’re probably someone I enjoy talking to. Listening to. Or maybe all of my problems have to do with you. And that’s why I don’t share them with you. But you will never know that. I'm the type of person that enjoys drowning herself in other people’s problems. Sometimes. Occasionally I get overwhelmed though. And end up even more depressed. But if I focus on other people, I don’t have to think about myself. People never let themselves shine through. At least I don’t. If you’re close to me, good for you, but that doesn’t mean you have to know everything. Continue to talk to me though, because I would hate to have to focus on myself. If you’re going to be there for someone, be there. Don’t doubt them or ask questions or anything, just comfort them. If their asking for consolation, then give it to them. Tell them something. Remind them that they matter, how much you care for them. Don’t spend your time telling them their stupid for feeling how they do, or telling them they don’t have problems. Cause 9 times out of 10 they do. And they don’t have to tell you. And just because their not out in the open, doesn’t mean they don’t exist. They know, I know, when I go to these people (the ones my problems revolve around), it will only get worse. I'm living on false hopes. Don’t be surprised at what people are really thinking about when their bobbing their heads to music. Or laughing at a conversation. No matter how airheaded they may normally seem.