Waiting. Fading. Floating Away.

Sorry. I realized that I haven’t posted much. For a week exactly. I won’t go into my schedule but it was lengthy. And even when I was free, I was too ugh to write anyways. Life’s just been whatever, and I doubt it gets better.

I think life pretty much comes down to trust. If you can’t trust anyone, you can’t live. You can’t do anything. You’re constantly fighting to determine whets real or not. What people are conspiring, who is really on your side. It reaches to point of being quite ridiculous.
But what people do behind your back can be surprising. Even what the do in your face. They hide, they lie, and they change stories. If you feel someone isn’t being real, you should run.
I can tell that about some people. When they “talk down” to you. I really can’t stand it. You can just tell.
But what really gets to me is when you find out that you can’t trust those close to you as much as you thought you could. When words spoken in confidence are twisted and repeated. Lately, its seems as if I can’t tell anyone anything. I'm to worried they will be judgmental. That I will change the way they see me. I don’t trust them to be there.
Using you. Toying with your emotions. Do they realize? Of coured they do. Your just too much a fool to turn away. You think you will be okay, but deep down you know it wont. And you know life goes on, but you feel its over. Cause you know that this will happen again. And that’s the only reliable aspect of this person. More pain.
Should I let go. Maybe my thoughts are obsolete. That’s another thing I do; I have no complete grasp on reality. So confused. And the person I thought would be there has long since disappeared. But don’t worry, cause tomorrow I will forget this all. It’s always that way.