She's got the soul of a poet and the fire of a bullet. She is what she is, nothing left or unspoken. She don't love you no more.

It's raining. Actual rain. I love rain. It washes everything away. If only i could rain, protect everyone, cover them. But disappear as quickly as I came. And bounce back to myself to do it again. The storm symptoms are even better. They never fail to make me drowzy. Wanting to sleep, to escape. But ironically, the only thing I've been able to dream about is school. I'm either learning or being confused, or angered, or hurt. Every negative feeling. Just like the norm. And when I wake up, the dream begins. But its a reality.
My newest catch phrase is a cross between an "I don't know." and an "I don't want to talk about it." Which is normally true, but the only person I wish I was'nt fooling is too stupid to realize otherwise.
Lately I've been contemplating with a friend. About love. She is super insightful, so today I asked her, "Who are you so crazy about." Se replied "Nobody, I'm in love with an idea." At that moment, I had an epiphany (thats the correct word, right?). The answer. Love isn't love. You never fall in love with a person. You fall in love with an idea. Are these ideas true? I write as my vision begins to blur. I don't think you fall in love with what someone does. But the whole excitement is for the future. What this person will do? Will they be there?
This is such an incomplete idea. But I think it answered my question. We must love someone that we know will be there, that we know will remember. Someone that we know knows. Instead of falling for someone over stupid present-day things. Or the past. The past is the worse. But how much do I know?
How many poets write about experiences they never have. Do they make the details descriptive enough to feel important? To have something desired?
And my eyes are closing. I wish I could dream the answeres (Kinda like Angela). To feel the future, and then experience it. So that I know the path to take. To know, that I know, that everything I am and everything I am about to be doing is wrong.