Make out kids never have the chance to be best friends

Once again my lack of introduction gets to me. It’s been two months since she has last seen that smile. Two months since he have whispered into her ear. She now struggle to keep good memories alive. Questioning every day; if he was still here, what would he say? Reminding herself of the little things. His favorite book, color, song, place to study. Anything to keep the memory alive.
Flashback to the last night. They both knew it was over. But she couldn’t seem to convince herself that it was. She was willing to change, to do anything, to be anything. She wanted to be his everything. Because he were her everything. But his mind was already made up. It was one fight too late.
She can still remember the way he held my hand. The way he’d look at her. The way he would call her name from across the room. The way he’d make her feel like they knew each other best, that nothing could get in between them. Anything spoken from his lips was the most important thing. So eloquent, it could change her strongest feelings. And she had hoped that he felt the same.
The night after she couldn’t bear it. Piercing blue eyes caught him from across the room. And she found herself doing everything he told her not to. Pushing the limits, to faze him. She knew that she still had a little power over him.
But in the end, she was hurt even more. She knows she can’t get out of this. That half of her just died. How long will it take to grow back?

Just a few incomplete compiled thoughts (*motions above and below*)

I guess sometimes people have too much control over each other. Do they realize that when they leave they take with them a huge part of the other person? Probably not.

If you lost someone, don’t fight it. I think instead of just letting people go, we should fight back. If you’re going to lose someone, don’t lose them without a fight. This goes in any situation. Take this as an opportunity to tell them how you really feel. I hate to compare relationships to algebra, but: You already lost this person; this person was your everything, so you now have nothing to lose. If this fails, you’re exactly where you were before. But now, you don’t have to wonder anymore. And if you succeed, well, you succeeded.

I wish life was more like the movies. That everybody has a happily ever after. That no matter how shitty it seems something good always happens in the end. And they play that pretty outro music. And if it is going to be a movie outro, it better be one of those black and white movies where they show the fancy white “The End” and play some cheesy song with a lot of trumpets or something happy.

Though we all know life is noting but agreeable. So us heartbroken stand separate, together, but always alone.

I guess i wish that everyone would just stick up for what they love. and stop being so afraid. so weak. if we all took risks for our happiness every once in a while, maybe this world wouldnt suck so much.

To be continued...

I’ve seen fire and I’ve seen rain. (Sweet dreams and flying machines, and peices on the ground)

The worst thing you can possibly do is fall in love with your best friend. That’s exactly what I told her. But she wouldn’t listen. I told her not to get too attached. That when she loses him, she would also lose herself. How do you “re-find” yourself? That’s the task she now faces.

Every relationship fails. I’ve explained this to so many people. A relationship is a short thing (don’t counter and say that 5 years is not short, look at your whole life, 5 years isn’t that long) set up for failure. The only kind of relationship that works would be one that turns into a relationship that turns into a marriage. But look at the divorce rate now. Your first relationship isn’t meant to be. The first few years. Everything ends.
And age factors into it all. Chances are, you are not going to find lasting love at 16 or 17. And if you do, they probably weren’t your first love. There's trials. And it’s all part of life.
Sure love starts out great. You think about this person all the time. They become your life, your best friend, your everything, blah, blah, blah. But you become blinded to this persons imperfections. Fighting happens. You both start realizing things about each other. Accusations are made, and eventually, you split up. It always happens, it has to. Its part of the process.
A wise man once spoke to me and my friend “Relationships are just fillers.” He's married now, so needless to say, his “filler” worked out. But we don’t need this. Yes it’s desirable, even for me, but too arduous to keep. People are wasting their lives looking for love when they should really be getting off their lazy behinds and starting a future for themselves.
Listening to me is not going to soften the blow. Nothing will. That’s also part of the relationship process. Your heart was broken. I understand. I can’t say I haven’t been here before. No, I don’t know what you should do now. I can’t exactly offer you expert advice. Healing happens on its own. Yes it will take a long time, but I will be there. In 2 or 3 months something better will come around and you will forget all of it.
--that’s total crap. You will never forget any of this. It’s impossible to get over things like this. Everything you do, everything you think will revolve around him. The best you can do is force yourself to smile and move on. Push it to the back of your head. And make new memories to replace the old. And if you can be friends, that’s great. In some cases you have to. Especially yours. I won’t say to pretend nothing happened, cause that’s pretty bitchy, but try to push the memories away. Avoid anything that will make you sad, nobody likes a clingy whiner. But you’re bitter, you can’t smile. You don’t want to laugh. You’re becoming a horrible person, and you can’t stand him for making you this way.
It will be hard. You’ll find yourself opening your notebook to pages filled up with his name. Doodles, poems, things that make you feel sick. When your friend mentions his name, and your heart races, forgetting it wasn’t meant to be. A song on the radio, a television commercial, his favorite color. The first few weeks you find yourself living only to see his smile (sorta like living paycheck to paycheck). It reminds you of when you first started out. But this time, you’re moving on.

When you turn the sink on and the water is so hot it feels cold. Until your under the faucet long enough to realize that your skin is burning. When you don’t sleep for 3 days and you’re running on so much adrenaline it seems that nothings wrong, if not extra hyperness. Until you crash. Is that analogous to love?
What really is love? That’s what it all circles back around to.

You were my outline drawn. You were my greatest failure. Discourse your saving song.

Ignorance. Hypocritical to discuss. But I promised someone dear to me that I will spell it out the best that I can. Sometimes you tend to ignore people. Everybody does it. Is it because we really don’t see them? Or that we don’t want to bother? I am horribly guilty of this act. Yes, I get nervous. Sometimes I don’t know what t o say. Or I don’t want to burden you with myself. Sometimes I'm angry, and I don’t feel like being even more hurt.
But when someone has no good reason to ignore, that’s where the line is drawn. I suppose I could go off with some story about Damien Grey and his tendency to do this. But, like I said before, I promised to do the following:
Nikki and Ryan were close friends. So when they started their relationship, nobody was surprised. They were always together because they had the same group of friends. So when they fell in love, nobody was surprised. And it was great, how they had this honest bond, everything desirable in this kind of situation.
Nikki was basically head over heels. She lived and breathed for Ryan. Poured out all of her emotions in his name. But it broke her heart to know that the feeling might not be mutual. For months they were together, and even though she didn’t want to admit it, she knew she could do better.
But Ryan could be so great. He was everything she could ask for at his best. But he seemed to have other priorities. And they began to grow apart. Fighting happened in this group of friends. Nikki started noticing that Ryan spent way too much time with her best friend, Rachel and his close friend Courtney.
There was a pep-rally. Nikki was 10 minutes late to this because she had to get an assignment she missed. When she got to the auditorium, she quickly seeked out Ryan. He had two empty seats next to him. As Nikki started across the floor, Rachel and Courtney took these seats. Infuriated that Ryan would save seats for them and not his girlfriend, Nikki sat with her other friends.
This was becoming a trend. Ryan would sometimes come over to where Nikki ate lunch and basically ignore her. But Nikki didn’t want to see how bad this was.
Maybe Ryan isn’t intentionally doing this. Maybe Nikki is completely misjudging this. But it all comes down to: Can I do better? Do I need this? How mutual is this?

Obviously these names were changed. And don’t ask me who this is really about. And don’t guess. It’s really none of your business.
I hate this. Maybe if you’re going to ignore, I should just forget it. As Pete Wentz once said: "People...need more social lubricants when it comes to being around real human beings." And I'm sorry if I'm being a Holden here, but seriously try to value everyone. Especially those who only get up in the morning knowing that they will soon see your face.

P.S.: 6 days till I leave this horrid number.
And……If u want to have my heart, u will sing to me Lullaby by the Smiths.